By Michelle S. Lazurek, Crosswalk.com
Weddings are a beautiful occasion when two people who love each other stand before God and vow to love, honor and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. But even the most planned and organized person can get stressed during the wedding planning process. But it doesn't have to be this way. Brides can especially stress out during this process as they want everything to be perfect for their wedding day to be special. But as much as brides want everything to be perfect, life is certainly not perfect. Mistakes happen, and often, couples must plan accordingly for incidences that make the wedding day less than ideal. Here are six tips for wedding planning stress:
1. Go with the Flow
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It is important to have a plan for your wedding. But even the best plans don't always materialize. Mistakes happen, and issues arise that can't be controlled. When your wedding planning feels out of control, go with the flow. For example, if the cake is not going to arrive on time, or the decorations are not as you planned, opt for cupcakes or another dessert to give to your guests or change the color scheme. If your dress was not altered as requested, ask a wedding guest or a family member to help you alter it quickly before you walk down the aisle. Or you may borrow a family member's dress instead. Your wedding day doesn't have to be disastrous simply because you didn't get everything you wanted. In the end, it won't be the day that matters, but how much work you invest in your marriage will be the ultimate way to complete your day.
2. Laugh it Off
Sometimes couples encounter problem after problem making it seem almost impossible to get married. But this doesn't mean you should quit altogether. When things seem tough, and it seems easier to go to a Justice of the Peace rather than follow through with the plans, laugh about it. It will help adjust your attitude to laugh at the mistakes rather than allow them to ruin your special day. Let your groom know about the issues and chuckle about it. Brainstorm together ways you can fix the problem. Don't allow a rainstorm to ruin your venue, or wrongly colored decorations put a damper on one of the most special days of your life.
3. Don't Be a Bridezilla
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Your friends and family are there to rejoice with you and help you in any way they can to make your wedding a success. But brides that become "bridezillas," ordering people around and acting superior to others, will not only make your wedding day more difficult, but it may strain—or sever—your relationships as a result. If you find your attitude is less than stellar when it comes to all the details, apologize accordingly and vow to make this experience fun for yourself and everyone involved. Your friends and family will do what they can, but in the end, it's not their wedding. They can only do so much. Making them feel bad because your day is less than your dream will cause you to have a bad attitude about your special day and make your guests not want to attend.
4. Plan Early
For special events such as weddings, you can only do so much planning in the beginning. While it is essential to book the church or venue, the DJ, and even the caterer a year (or even two) in advance, it will take time for the other elements of your special day to be completed. For example, flowers can only be ordered a few months before the day, and it may take some time to find that perfect wedding dress. Even if you've been shopping for that special dress or planned your wedding in your head for many years, there will always be an element of stress to planning a large event such as a wedding. Do your best to make your day a success, but don't put all your happiness into having that perfect day. Clear your schedule to make sure you can handle all the wedding preparations in addition to working and other personal obligations. An overly packed schedule will make for a very tired bride, ultimately leading to future problems.
5. Make it Budget Friendly
Nothing piles on more stress than overspending on your wedding. Finances may also be a source of disagreement for you and your spouse. How you handle finances now will dictate how you manage your finances during your marriage. Be sure to stay united over all the financial decisions made and keep each other in check to ensure you don't overspend. While it is tempting to spend extra because it's a special day, it will only cause undue tension and arguments when the first bill comes to your home. In the moment, it may seem right to overspend on the perfect flowers, dress, or caterer. But if you want your marriage to start on the right foot, don't start off in debt. Do what you can to settle for more cost-effective ways to make your special day a success. You may not need that special venue, and you may want to opt for someone in your church to cater your event rather than hire an expensive catering company. In the end, eating filet mignon at your wedding won't give you the happiness you desire, but less financial stress will help.
6. Adopt Stress Management Techniques
If you feel yourself getting stressed, do what your schedule—and budget—will allow to relieve it. Stress wreaks havoc physically, mentally, and emotionally if gone unchecked. If you feel stressed for a long period, it may only cause health problems that interfere with your special day. Take supplements, eat healthy foods instead of junk food, and don't anesthetize yourself with food, drinks, or shopping. All these things that feel good in the moment will only cause problems for you and your spouse after the wedding. Seek wellness and get a massage, a facial, or even use some vacation time. Take some time for yourself and opt to create a personal retreat. Go away and spend time in silence and solitude. It automatically resets your mind and body when it's not constantly overstimulated. Unplug from social media and the Internet after work instead of spending your time making preparations. You will find your body relaxes easily, you will get better quality sleep, and you'll be ready to take on the planning challenges.
Planning a wedding can be stressful, no matter how organized or proactive you are. If needed, postpone your wedding to a date when you have more time to prepare properly. Causing yourself undue stress will not allow you to be present in the moment and enjoy the beauty of making your wedding day special, not only for yourself but for all those involved. Cut corners where you can, and don't place your happiness in one day. The wedding day will be special, but the love you share in your marriage will be the ultimate way to gain fulfillment and satisfaction.
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Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.