By Vivian Bricker, Crosswalk.com
Throughout the past decades, there has been a significant emphasis on the Christian dating scene. As a result, many Christian singles have become tired of the entire dating conversation altogether. If you are a Christian single who is over the stereotypes, questions, and nosy culture of Christian dating, this article is for you.
Let's check out four reasons Christian singles are tired of the dating scene:
One reason Christian singles are tired of the dating scene is that they are frustrated. They are frustrated because they cannot find "the one." These individuals have been on numerous dates with numerous people, yet they still haven't found their forever partner. For this reason alone, many Christian singles are exhausted by investing in the dating scene. Maybe all of their friends have found their person, and they feel alone or as though something is wrong with them.
Through feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts, the individual can be frustrated. They want the same happiness and joy, yet it always seems unattainable for them. If you are a Christian single and you are tired of the dating scene because you're frustrated, turn to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to help you find the person who is a good fit for you, who also loves God more than anyone or anything else.
While everybody desires to find their spouse, we also have to accept the fact that not everyone will end up being married. Even though Christian culture places a huge emphasis on marriage and starting a family, some Christian singles may never get married. This can be heartbreaking to some, and it is completely valid to express your feelings. If you are feeling as though God doesn't have the one for you, embrace it and know that you still have unlimited worth and love because of Christ.
A second reason why Christian singles are tired of the dating scene is because of the pressure being forced upon them. As stated in the former point, many Christian singles are pressured by Christian culture to get married and start a family as soon as possible. As someone who went to a Bible college, I can vouch for the extreme pressure being forced upon young Christian singles from family and peers to get married young and start a family. While none of this pressure was ever done by professors at the school, fellow peers and their families were passionate about getting all Christian singles married.
Marriage is a beautiful, sacred covenant God created, but sadly, many people pressure it onto others. This is not helpful and can cause a great amount of pain. With the dating scene being so popular in the modern day, Christian singles have felt the pressure to resort to online dating or even blind dating just to rid themselves of this pressure. While I have known many individuals to meet their future spouse through the internet or through online dating, one still needs to exercise extreme caution when it comes to online dating. In fact, Christian singles need to free themselves of the pressure of dating in order to give themselves peace.
If you want to go on the dating scene, that's fine; however, if you are tired of it, that is okay too. There's nothing wrong with being tired of the dating scene because it has caused you a great amount of anguish and pain. No matter how old you are, you shouldn't be pressured into dating if you don't want to. Live life at your own pace and if the right person comes along, ask God for guidance in the relationship. Relationships and marriages should never be rushed. Instead, you need to cultivate your relationship by spending time with one another and seeing if this person is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
3. Content with Being Single
A third reason why Christian singles are tired of the dating scene is that they are content with being single. Paul tells us, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:34). As Paul tells us in this passage, the unmarried woman is concerned with the Lord. She is fully devoted to the Lord in ways the married woman cannot be. It is the same for unmarried men. Those who are not married are able to give their full time, attention, and devotion to the Lord.
As we can see, there are Christian singles who are tired of the dating scene because they are content with being single. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to stay single. Singleness is a gift from the Lord, and it can spare a person from many troubles that come with marriage (1 Corinthians 7:28). Christian singles don't need to be looked down upon because they are not inferior to those who choose to get married. Whether you are married or not, choose to live your life to the glory of God. Honor God through your singleness or your marriage.
4. Past Dates Have Been Awful
A fourth reason why Christian singles are tired of the dating scene is that their past dates have been awful. Most people are familiar with what it's like to go on a terrible date. One terrible date alone can leave a bad impression on dating in general. Maybe you have been on multiple dates, and each time the person is rude, only talks about themselves, or makes you pay the bill. This alone can cause a person to become tired of the dating scene.
Dating needs to be done with the idea of marriage. If you aren't considering the person for marriage, don't date them. Christians are not just to date around as the secular culture teaches. Instead, Christians are to date with the mind frame of seeing if they want to marry this individual. However, if all of your past dates are awful, it can cause you to be hesitant to date anyone else. If you want to get a break from the dating scene, that is perfectly understandable. Take time to wait and grow in your singleness until the time is right.
It is also important to remember that not all dates will be terrible. Even if most of your dates have not been the best in the past, you might still find the right one in the future. Yet again, you can still choose to refrain from the dating scene for a while and wait for the right person to come in your direction. Pray to God and ask Him to send the right person into your life. The answer to your prayer might not be the answer you want, or it might not happen within the timeframe you desire, yet you can know God's way, and His timing is best.
Whether you choose to remain in the dating scene or not is up to you. There are many other reasons why Christian singles have grown tired of the dating scene. However, these are but four reasons in addition to many more. Maybe you have your own additions to add to this list, and that is great. Acknowledge these reasons and seek out how to make them better. Often, it means disconnecting from the entire dating scene.
The world and Christian culture try to make us feel as though we need to be married by our twenties or we will be seen as an "old maid." This could not be further from the truth because your twenties aren't reserved exclusively for dating. Use this time of singleness to grow in your relationship with Christ and know Him better. Know that you already have worth and are loved by the Lord Himself. With or without a spouse, you are dearly loved, cherished, and cared for.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Gift Habeshaw
Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master's degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.